Summary: While regret is a universal human experience, how we process it changes significantly over time. New research reveals that older adults report fewer recent regrets than their younger counterparts.
Furthermore, while the total number of long-term regrets remains similar across age groups, older adults experience far less anger and frustration when reflecting on them. This suggests that aging provides a “tempering effect,” transforming regret from a source of distress into a tool for reflection and meaning.
Key Research Findings
- Frequency vs. Intensity: Older adults (ages 21–89) report fewer recent regrets (from the past year) and describe them with significantly less emotional intensity.
- The “Missed Chance” Bias: Older adults are more likely to regret inaction (missed opportunities) than wrong actions.
- Emotional Resilience: Although both groups carry similar “long-term” baggage, older adults experience less physiological and psychological frustration when thinking about past mistakes.
- Shift in Purpose: For younger adults, regret serves as a “course correction” for future decisions. For older adults, regret shifts toward a mechanism for reflection and finding meaning in one’s life story.
- Sense of Control: A key factor in the reduced negativity was how “controllable” the regret felt, specifically, the ability to change how one feels about a past decision, even if the decision itself cannot be undone.
Source: APA
Older adults report fewer recent regrets than younger adults, finds research published by the American Psychological Association.
In addition, although older and younger adults report a similar number of long-term regrets, older adults experience less anger and frustration when they think about those mistakes and missed chances. The research highlights how both age and time shape our emotional responses to past decisions.
“Regrets are incredibly common. Almost all of us experience big regrets in our personal and professional lives – from marrying the wrong person to never finishing college,” says lead author Julia Nolte, PhD, of Tilburg University in the Netherlands.
“The good news is that for many of us, the experience of regret seems to become less negative with age.”
The research was published in the journal Emotion.
In the study, the researchers surveyed 90 U.S. adults ages 21 to 89, asking them to list up to five recent regrets (from the past year) and five long-term regrets. Then, the researchers asked participants to focus on their most significant long-term regret and most significant recent regret, describing and rating those in detail.
Participants rated the regrets on factors such as how long ago they occurred, what emotions they evoked and how controllable they felt – how much they felt they could to do manage the regret, either by changing their decision or by changing how they felt about it. Participants also described how they were coping with these regrets and how they might handle similar situations in the future.
The researchers found that older adults reported fewer and less emotionally intense recent regrets. They also found that older adults also tended to regret “missed chances” – times when they failed to act – more often than they regretted taking a wrong action.
More work is needed to understand exactly why aging changes the experience of regrets or whether the differences may reflect generational shifts rather than age differences, according to Nolte. Further research could also explore whether regret fulfills the same psychological purpose for younger and older adults, she says.
“It is assumed that regret helps us make better choices moving forward,” Nolte says. “But older adults may derive other benefits from regret, such as a chance to reflect or look for meaning.”
Key Questions Answered:
A: This is often called the inaction effect. Over time, we tend to rationalize and find “silver linings” for the mistakes we actually made (actions). However, the things we didn’t do remain a blank space in our history, making them easier to romanticize or wonder “what if” about as we age.
A: This is a major question for researchers. While the study suggests aging itself brings emotional regulation tools, it’s possible that older generations were raised with different cultural attitudes toward “crying over spilled milk” compared to younger generations.
A: Yes. The research highlights “emotional controllability.” By focusing on changing your reaction to a past mistake rather than obsessing over the mistake itself, younger adults can adopt the “meaning-making” perspective that comes naturally to older adults.
Editorial Notes:
- This article was edited by a Neuroscience News editor.
- Journal paper reviewed in full.
- Additional context added by our staff.
About this aging and psychology research news
Author: Lea Winerman
Source: APA
Contact: Lea Winerman – APA
Image: The image is credited to Neuroscience News
Original Research: Open access.
“Adult Age Differences in the Response to and Regulation of Recent Versus Long-term Regrets” by Nolte, J., Lewis, J. L., & Löckenhoff, C. E. Emotion
DOI:10.1037/emo0001672
Abstract
Adult Age Differences in the Response to and Regulation of Recent Versus Long-term Regrets
Past research on age-related differences in regrets and their regulation has failed to separate the effects of age versus recency (i.e., time since the regret originated). To address this gap, we collected data from N = 90 U.S. adults (Mage = 49.81, SDage = 18.71, 63% women) who reported their most severe recent and long-time regrets.
Present- and future-oriented regret regulation strategies were assessed with respect to decision avoidance, decision alteration, and affect-based strategies. In addition, we accounted for demographic, socioemotional, health, personality, and cognitive covariates, including perceived control and future time perspective.
For recent regrets, older age was associated with reporting fewer, more omission-based, and fewer interpersonal regrets. Reliance on affect-based strategies (present-oriented) and decision alteration (future-oriented) was less common with age. For long-term regrets, older age was associated with reporting regrets that were more distant, less controllable, more omission-based, and less likely to be downregulated.
Regarding covariates, older adults’ lesser perceived control over long-term regrets was associated with age differences in omission-based regrets, and their more limited future time perspective was associated with age differences in interpersonal regrets.
Several of the observed age effects, particularly those linked to long-term regrets, were associated with age differences in cognition and affect, whereas many effects concerning recent regrets were not associated with covariates.
Overall, findings illustrate the necessity to distinguish between recent and long-term regrets when examining age-related differences.
Given the limited diversity of the sample, the findings may not readily generalize to less well-educated or non-White populations.
